Cadtomgen Zimtofmit is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, strong turtle.

Cadtomgen Zimtofmit created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cadtomgen Zimtofmit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cadtomgen Zimtofmit, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cadtomgen Zimtofmit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cadtomgen Zimtofmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadtomgen Zimtofmit.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.