Sawtafkem is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, sapient duck.

Sawtafkem created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawtafkem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sawtafkem, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sawtafkem's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sawtafkem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Run away from magenta sharks, for they are unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sawtafkem.

4. Feed all hungry foxes.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.