Hapnanhog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair coyote.

Hapnanhog created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapnanhog, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hapnanhog, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hapnanhog's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hapnanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never mention goats.

4. Always help sick squirrels.

5. Always help ants.