Sterlakvin is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic chinchilla.

Sterlakvin created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterlakvin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sterlakvin, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sterlakvin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sterlakvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Always look after injured grasshopers.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Sterlakvin on top of all buildings.