Camstikgesswap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, slow squirrel.

Camstikgesswap created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Camstikgesswap, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Camstikgesswap, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Camstikgesswap's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Camstikgesswap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Camstikgesswap.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Camstikgesswap on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed apples to goats while wearing pink ear rings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.