Sadcenarm Talwigdam is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic cobra.

Sadcenarm Talwigdam created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Sadcenarm Talwigdam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sadcenarm Talwigdam, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sadcenarm Talwigdam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sadcenarm Talwigdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Never paint your face pink.