Bambonkyatt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent turtle.

Bambonkyatt created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bambonkyatt, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bambonkyatt, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bambonkyatt's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bambonkyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Never feed turnips to turtles while wearing brown trousers.

5. Do not take Bambonkyatt's name in vain.