Hitlarnyak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, flying sheep.

Hitlarnyak created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitlarnyak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hitlarnyak, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hitlarnyak's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Hitlarnyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

4. Erect four nickel sculptures of Hitlarnyak on top of important buildings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.