Vigpadfub is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, conceited mole.

Vigpadfub created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Vigpadfub, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vigpadfub, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vigpadfub's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vigpadfub's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vigpadfub.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Badgers are not to be trusted.