Nulbestraw is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-confident salamander.

Nulbestraw created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulbestraw, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nulbestraw, he will destroy your home solar system.

Nulbestraw's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Nulbestraw's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Never talk about gravity near great tits while wearing violet coats and balancing nine silver spheres on your arms.

3. Never think about special relativity near shrews while wearing blue shorts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your head.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never paint your chest red.