Sandspagquart is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, able crow.

Sandspagquart created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandspagquart, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandspagquart, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sandspagquart's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Sandspagquart's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not take Sandspagquart's name in vain.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Worship no other gods but Sandspagquart.