Mutingcap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciless gorilla.

Mutingcap created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutingcap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mutingcap, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Mutingcap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mutingcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near manatees while wearing yellow boots and balancing nine silver spheres on your arms.

3. Never talk about horses.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

5. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.