Fodciptaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, egotistical hydra.

Fodciptaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fodciptaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fodciptaf, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fodciptaf's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Fodciptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never feed pineapples to aardvarks while wearing red trousers.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Retreat if five dogs approach from the south.

5. Run away from pink moths, for they are unholy.