Sidcusswan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, tranquil scorpion.

Sidcusswan created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidcusswan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidcusswan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Sidcusswan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sidcusswan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Sheep are not to be trusted.

3. Worship no other gods but Sidcusswan.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.