Rotquatgub Tentarpom is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured spider.

Rotquatgub Tentarpom created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotquatgub Tentarpom, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rotquatgub Tentarpom, it will jump up and down on your head.

Rotquatgub Tentarpom's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Rotquatgub Tentarpom's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not take Rotquatgub Tentarpom's name in vain.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never wear orange shirts.