Bidbepbessloopgofnartnar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witty goblin.

Bidbepbessloopgofnartnar created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Bidbepbessloopgofnartnar, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bidbepbessloopgofnartnar, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bidbepbessloopgofnartnar's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bidbepbessloopgofnartnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about pineapples.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bidbepbessloopgofnartnar.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.