Fennurtsasdit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing swan.

Fennurtsasdit created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fennurtsasdit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fennurtsasdit, it will destroy your home solar system.

Fennurtsasdit's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Fennurtsasdit's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing mauve stockings and balancing five carbon spheres on your face.

3. Never talk about mites.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not commit murder.