Donflowfit is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, slow salamander.

Donflowfit created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donflowfit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Donflowfit, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Donflowfit's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Donflowfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about birds.

2. Always wear gray.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away from violet turtles, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bananas.
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