Nellarntadtig is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witless giraffe.

Nellarntadtig created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellarntadtig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nellarntadtig, it will turn you into a sheep.

Nellarntadtig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Nellarntadtig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nellarntadtig.

4. Nellarntadtig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.