Gudwadbess is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid goose.

Gudwadbess created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudwadbess, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gudwadbess, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Gudwadbess' most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gudwadbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gudwadbess.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Do not stand on grass.