Pombafruttgabtag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humane wyrm.

Pombafruttgabtag created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pombafruttgabtag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pombafruttgabtag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pombafruttgabtag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Pombafruttgabtag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Pombafruttgabtag loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.