Nutveenhapgem is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable jellyfish.

Nutveenhapgem created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nutveenhapgem, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutveenhapgem, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nutveenhapgem's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Nutveenhapgem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Nutveenhapgem in the centre of the settlement.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to ants while wearing mauve boots.

5. Do not stand on grass.