Hatkenfen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful troll.

Hatkenfen created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatkenfen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hatkenfen, she will not invite you to parties.

Hatkenfen's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hatkenfen's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.