Quathonsaf Camdonkad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful raven.

Quathonsaf Camdonkad created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quathonsaf Camdonkad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quathonsaf Camdonkad, she will curse you with boils.

Quathonsaf Camdonkad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Quathonsaf Camdonkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick whales.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Do not make images of living things.