Appcadgar is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, generous grasshopper.

Appcadgar created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appcadgar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Appcadgar, she will turn you into a puffin.

Appcadgar's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Appcadgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Appcadgar on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never sing in holy places.