Lanlog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fast hydra.

Lanlog created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanlog, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lanlog, it will curse you with boils.

Lanlog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lanlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of doves.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Worship no other gods but Lanlog.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.