Arplan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, emotional shark.

Arplan created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arplan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arplan, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Arplan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Arplan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.