Gabtonkbast is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, compassionate wyvern.

Gabtonkbast created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Gabtonkbast, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gabtonkbast, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gabtonkbast's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gabtonkbast's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Hide if four foxes approach from the west.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Erect five nickel sculptures of Gabtonkbast on top of important buildings.