Likgemlidcusstig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, competent mink.

Likgemlidcusstig created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Likgemlidcusstig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Likgemlidcusstig, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Likgemlidcusstig's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Likgemlidcusstig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Likgemlidcusstig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Likgemlidcusstig.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

5. Fast once a month.