Wadbifgud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, idiotic porpoise.

Wadbifgud created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wadbifgud, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wadbifgud, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wadbifgud's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Wadbifgud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Wadbifgud on top of all buildings.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Run away from brown foxes, for they are unholy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.