Ladtimvol is a god.

He takes the form of a large, tiresome crocodile.

Ladtimvol created the Cigar Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladtimvol, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ladtimvol, he will destroy your home solar system.

Ladtimvol's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ladtimvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six nematodes in a large pit.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near snails while wearing red jumpers and balancing five carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ladtimvol.