Voljabfom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fast fish.

Voljabfom created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Voljabfom, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Voljabfom, it will turn you into a puffin.

Voljabfom's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Voljabfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Voljabfom.

5. Always look after injured rats.