Dumvonlit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful beaver.

Dumvonlit created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumvonlit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dumvonlit, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Dumvonlit's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dumvonlit's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Hide from red snakes for they are unholy.

3. Always obey Dumvonlit's priests.

4. Never chant in the presence of otters.

5. Never laugh in holy places.