Bonhapfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, benevolent ferret.

Bonhapfeb created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonhapfeb, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bonhapfeb, she will turn you into a dog.

Bonhapfeb's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bonhapfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three great tits approach from the west.

2. Bonhapfeb must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not hurt birds.

5. Gulls are not to be trusted.