Jabzagcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, able wyrm.

Jabzagcan created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Jabzagcan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jabzagcan, she will laugh at you.

Jabzagcan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jabzagcan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Jabzagcan in the centre of the settlement.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never eat bananas.