Bemkabfut is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, pitiless human.

Bemkabfut created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemkabfut, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bemkabfut, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bemkabfut's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bemkabfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Always obey Bemkabfut's priests.

3. Do not speak about lentils.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Hide if three bats approach from the west.