Arfvonbifshav is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, kind bird.

Arfvonbifshav created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfvonbifshav, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arfvonbifshav, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Arfvonbifshav's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Arfvonbifshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill nematodes.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Arfvonbifshav in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never hurt porpoises.

5. Always stare at clouds.