Fittindav is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, competent wolf.

Fittindav created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fittindav, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fittindav, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fittindav's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fittindav's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks.

2. You must never eat apples.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Fittindav on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Run away from brown swans, for they are unholy.