Parkcimrak is a god.
He takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic
bear.
Parkcimrak created bats eight trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Parkcimrak, he will be happy.
If you do not believe in
Parkcimrak, he will turn you into a puffin.
Parkcimrak's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.
Parkcimrak's Holy Commandments1. Do not commit murder.
2. Do not shave your neck.
3. Learn five new languages a year.
4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
5. Never chant near turtles.