Tarpsasqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, proud slug.

Tarpsasqueeg created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Tarpsasqueeg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tarpsasqueeg, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarpsasqueeg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tarpsasqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Never sit near manatees.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not take Tarpsasqueeg's name in vain.