Teenmadpark is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, resourceful dingo.

Teenmadpark created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenmadpark, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Teenmadpark, it will turn you into a hamster.

Teenmadpark's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Teenmadpark's Holy Commandments

1. Teenmadpark must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about optics near foxes while wearing red hats and balancing three titanium spheres on your chest.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.