Omtmetrak is a god.

He takes the form of a large, grumpy badger.

Omtmetrak created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtmetrak, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Omtmetrak, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Omtmetrak's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Omtmetrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help foxes in need.

2. Always help moths.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near ducks while wearing purple skirts and balancing five gold spheres on your head.

4. Hide from turquoise squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Omtmetrak.