Fonwigmil Yatgedbud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, bad-tempered cow.

Fonwigmil Yatgedbud created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonwigmil Yatgedbud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fonwigmil Yatgedbud, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fonwigmil Yatgedbud's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fonwigmil Yatgedbud's Holy Commandments

1. Dogs are not to be trusted.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fonwigmil Yatgedbud.

3. You must pray to Fonwigmil Yatgedbud nine times a day.

4. Never feed grapes to manatees while wearing white tights.

5. Always obey Fonwigmil Yatgedbud's priests.