Tailkikbat is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, idiotic ferret.

Tailkikbat created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailkikbat, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tailkikbat, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tailkikbat's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Tailkikbat's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Never talk about comets.