Jenrulldoss is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, slow cow.

Jenrulldoss created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Jenrulldoss, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jenrulldoss, she will turn you into a rock.

Jenrulldoss' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Jenrulldoss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight bats approach from the north.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near aardvarks while wearing turquoise tights and balancing five nickel spheres on your face.