Voncid Tabkomdut is a god.

She takes the form of a large, awe-inspiring shrew.

Voncid Tabkomdut created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Voncid Tabkomdut, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Voncid Tabkomdut, she will boil you in a big pot.

Voncid Tabkomdut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Voncid Tabkomdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always obey Voncid Tabkomdut's priests.

5. Erect four titanium sculptures of Voncid Tabkomdut on top of important buildings.