Lagtabpag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, able gerbil.

Lagtabpag created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagtabpag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lagtabpag, he will turn you into a worm.

Lagtabpag's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Lagtabpag's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.