Kabhadpang is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, idiotic lion.

Kabhadpang created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabhadpang, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kabhadpang, he will destroy your home planet.

Kabhadpang's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kabhadpang's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

2. You must love Kabhadpang.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Put Kabhadpang first in all things.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Kabhadpang on top of all buildings.