Quartcudbag Gessdundan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous clam.

Quartcudbag Gessdundan created the Black Eye Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartcudbag Gessdundan, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quartcudbag Gessdundan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Quartcudbag Gessdundan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quartcudbag Gessdundan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine gulls approach from the north.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Quartcudbag Gessdundan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.