Yarlhubnad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered fish.

Yarlhubnad created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlhubnad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yarlhubnad, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarlhubnad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yarlhubnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dolphins.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always help swans.

4. Never wear orange tights.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.